Do you have a beautiful day, my dear?
Well, I would love to introduce myself first so that you have an impression of who I am, what I do, why I do exactly this and so on.
Sounds good?
Maybe you find yourself in it, too. If it’s the case, let me know and let’s talk about us, visions, dreams,
everything we can experience in this journey, called life.
1) Freedom, Love, Passion and Joy are those words, I like the most
Are you aware of the fact how truly free we are? That we do not suffer under oppression, that we are able to create things by our own, that we can work, that we can speak, that we have the possibility to live life without anxiousness?
I am so blessed to be here and to be loved by myself and of course by others too.
Lets talk about love real quick. What it means to me, why I like this word.
Love; “Love occurs vulnerability early”that’s the most common meaning for me. I never read it before in someone else’s blog but it makes so much sense to me.
For some of us, being vulnerable sounds weird or too strange, because they always want to act strong, hard or they want to seem very confident. Let me get this straight: Vulnerability is a characteristic of a person, who understands what life is about. It’s not about playing a certain role or having everything in the right order. It’s not about hiding beneath a beautiful, fake mask which makes us to look perfect. Vulnerability let us look deeper in the eyes of our companion, let us seek for the real person, in his own genuineness. I think it is so attractive and strong when people show their vulnerable side, their love to reality in fake life.
Passion describes the way I work and do my stuff. It feels like fire running through my blood, the sense of wind in my movements when I dance, the clarity I have giving 100%, being passionate makes us come into that flow. Tremendous.
Joyful humans put a smile on their face,’cause they got the awareness of that massive impact to work with their body in line. Having a smile on your face make you see the world in a different perspective, make others see you in a different way. May you become the light you have searched for in your deepest darkness.
2) I love energy and good vibes and good music, something called “hype”
You remember this one single moment when you were at a party and you drunk a bit or smoked some … (or you didn’t do anything of it) and you danced and you let go all of your mindfucking thoughts, all of you disbeliefs, all of your negative faith rates? You just enjoyed the energy you had in your body, experimenting with your face what you can do to attract the other? Play around, smiling, breathing, smelling the odor of fresh grass when you go outside? Seeing others having fun, partying around – just as they were kids, without intention or worry or prejudice.
Well, I know that feeling pretty good and I often asked myself “come on, why do you need a break from life to feel this joy in your body? To feel this energy? How can I get this energy without drinks or weed or sex. How can I get this feeling the moment I want it and need it to compensate my sadness?”
Suddenly I decided to live, think, be different. That’s actually the reason why I do not need any alcohol or partying to feel this energy. I have learned over the last years how I can create this feeling by myself.
I named it “the amazing partying without going to a party vibe”. I laugh so hard when I say this. It’s so funny.
Life is about energy and the vibe you create everyday. No one except you is responsible for it. Energy changes and flows but energy will never go. You are energy, nothing else. If you own this high vibration and celebrate your greatness ,you’ll attract those who enhance your energy. You both create more and more, step by step. As you dreamed of for so long. But it starts with you, how do you swing?
3) I am madly in love with nature
Hereafter a poem by myself for you to understand it in a different, more touching way
« I am the girl looking up in the sky
watching the stars, the dreams passing by.
Looking up in the sky, never wondered why I have missed
the beauty of nature.
It’s like a wonderful kiss.
I am so so blessed to be on this planet
although I am sure that I cannot manage every single problem
we have to face.
Isn’t it kinda strange that we destroy ourselves?
Don’t you want to enjoy anything else?
Would you ever fear the power of nature?
My god, the beauty of nature.
The rain, kissing our skin
The wind that touches the body
The sun warming our empty souls.
We always search for the deeper sense of our being,
the deeper meaning of life but we lose our best friend
our saviour
who’s called nature, our best friend himself.
He’s like a stranger to me
so near, so real.
He accepts me as I am
That’s attractive.“
I could write books about the beauty of nature. It is so empowering, so wonderful, so breathtaking sitting on the wet grass beneath a huge tree, permitting the sun to kiss my skin, the wind to blow, the birds to sing their own beautiful melody, their own creature of music. If you listen carefully, if you watch wisely, you may find the answers in nature you have searched for so long.
4) I am romantic, direct, outmoded
You know, I LOVE PARIS for it’s beauty in every way. The houses, the art, the culture, these cafes, the fashion, the dance, everything.
I love sunsets, walks in a forest, have a picnic with some candles on our blanket, taking a look in the sky, watching the stars, dreams, real conversations, love letters, poems, old music, listening to legends.
I am not that type of girl who says yes and means “nooooooo noo no no way, never, ever”. I hate these complicated, irritating girls who are just interested in make-up, nails, fashion. I hate these fuckboys who are so superficial, so ugly for me.
I really do not care how a person looks, how tall he or she is. For me, the most important thing is that this person is real, that I am blinded by their light, that I am inspired by the way they speak, how they see the world, how they enjoy their uniqueness. I don’t care how beautiful you are. If your character is ugly, you are ugly (for me, so sorry).
I need people in life who support, tolerant, respect and believe in each other. Love is all that matters. Love is the only answer to every question you have. I never believed that but as I let my burdens go and opened my heart, I understand what it means to be loved by the universe and by myself.
5) I went through depression and anorexia.
Never in my life would I say that I am tired of life or sad that I had so much things I often struggled with. These years made me incomprehensibly strong. I am just so thankful that I had this present, this gift in my life. Without these years I would never think as big as I do right now, I would never believe in myself as I do right now, I could never love me as truly as I do it right now. I had times where I thought it would be better to go away, forever. Never coming back again.
I was sitting near a lake, wanting to be drowned. I wanted to throw myself in front of the train, ‘cause I lost hope and joy in life. Nothing made sense to me. I said to my brother I just want to sleep, never wake up again because I am so worthless.
I was always covering myself. I had the feeling that no one could ever understand me. Always playing this really happy girl on the outside, destroyed on the inside. I cared a lot about others, lost myself in this period of time. Smoked a lot, ate kind of nothing in a day, never accept me as I am.
I struggled a lot with my appearance, how I look. It was common for me to look in the mirror and devalue myself, saying to me: “Wow, you look ugly. You better don’t go outside today. Someone else will laugh at you.”
Because of this, I started Instagram, where I posted pictures of me. It was never this “Company overview”. It was for me, that I see how DIFFERENT I look in reality. That I realize how beautiful I really am and what I can give to others, if I start to love myself, if I start to be real instead of fake, if I start to enlighten the darkness of others with my love. Do you remember? With my “vulnerability” I am able to help others to dissolve their disbeliefs.
I understood that I do not need to hide myself. That I can dance, that I can laugh, that I can taste, that I can smell and hear and breath and meditate and write and meet friends and enjoy the taste of delightful dishes. There are millions of things I am now grateful for. I got a different perspective of life.
The perspective that revives my soul, my heart, Natalie. The woman, I really am. The light I can share with you, you wonderful soul.
And that’s the reason I want to share my thoughts with you. Not because I am a Guru or extremely wise in what I say or super intelligent. I do not want to teach you anything. I just want to share my perspective of my life currently, write a couple of texts because it brings me joy and it calms me down from other activities. It’s the explanation in the implementation out of the substance inside me, inside you, inside everyone – it’s love. Love occurs vulnerability early. Love is all that matters you know. It’s everywhere, it’s the source, the energy inside us.
I am so blessed to make this experience, called life
to benefit from the given chances
to breath fresh air
to hear my heart skipping this true beat
to live my god given life filled with powerful dedication.
“Let your light shine brighter than the sun, will be so much fun.
Be there for others, take care of your mother,
be grateful for every wonder you see
for the wonder in you, can you see?
Be this person that enlightens the darkness of others,
do not forget to pray for your encouraging father.”
Much Love,
Natalie.
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