UPDATE
Confidence is not getting into a room knowing you are better than anyone. Confidence is getting into a room knowing that you do not have to compare yourself
to anyone.
What does it mean to trust in yourself?
I love to watch little kids. To observe their openness and carefreeness. How they dance through the room, ask questions without thinking about
them, and make room for their curiosity. They discover life until the moment they learn to adapt to their environment and the people who surround them every day. From this moment on, they imitate
new patterns of behavior, limiting themselves and losing their basic trust that they once had.
My goal is to return someday to this natural level of self-confidence and innocence that is in me.
I understand that no one can limit me except myself. I have to learn to let go. I have to learn to give up control.
Sometimes, I'm scared of losing control and trusting the universe.
By that I do not mean that I give away the responsibility for my actions or my results, I just do not want to rethink every little thing - overthink it and destroy my own happinness.
No one can stop me except my own mindset and my beliefs that either stop me or drive me to experience my true self.
I feel like a traveler trying every day to experience and discover myself. I am on the journey to myself, my true self as a human being.
My education at the Juste Debout School has begun.
The training is super intense and I can only repeat how grateful I am to have found a new home in this school. I am allowed to learn from the best dancers in the world and take a look into their world. Listen to the music and let it happen!
I want to learn how to fully devote myself to music. I want to allow movements that give me freedom, that make me love and others dream.
If I manage to drop my ego, digress my thoughts and be present right now - Am I able to give joy and love through my dancing?
I mean, the worst thing that can happen to me is a new realization. What am I running away from?
My dad has always been a great dancer to me. I remember exactly how he closed his eyes and started to groove. He did not respond to the music.
The music spoke through him and he let himself fall. I have to smile, light tears in my eyes.
The teachers are going exactely into the topics what I have been missing in my recent years of dancing.
I would like to share with you two exercises. It was not the one realization but it was again that feeling that I once had as a little girl, which I almost lost. It was
this breathtaking sense of freedom and lightheartedness, this moment in which only the movement counted and everything else was hidden. The moment when the thoughts were quiet for a bit
and it was warming around my heart.
Bastien Nozeran, my jazz teacher, asked us for an improvisation after the warm-up. We should work together with the ground and try
to tell a story. When he asked us what we felt about the task, I thought of only one word that could almost describe the feeling: freedom.
One of my house teachers, Jérémie Raza, asked us to feel what House music does to us.
House Dance originated around 1970-1980 in the clubs of Chicago and New York.
It's like flying for me.
I rate strongly. Myself most.
We did the exercise twice.
The first time I was so caught up in my head. I wanted to make big moves, I wanted to go through basics, dance and show what I can do great. But I did not pass the exercise.
The purpose was to listen and to feel, if the music moves me or not.
Second try.
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and then something happened.
I could have started crying. I felt heat in the area of my heart, I got goose bumps, I let go of everything.
My head was free. My thoughts were tidy, structured and clear. I listened and enjoyed the music. I let go of my control. I did what I'm most afraid of.
I let myself fall and the music spoke through me, the music put her arms around me. I was safe.
It was that feeling, that one feeling
that I still lack the words to describe it. I did not want to impress, I moved on my own.
The music moved me, not my ego. A tender smile in my face.
Creativity is a process of surrender, not of control.
It is not the lucky ones who are grateful. It is the thankful ones that are truly happy.
When I open up and let go, that's not for me - it's for everyone else who is allowed to participate in me.
Do we always have to do something to be loved and enough?
Nature does not expect anything from us.
It is our very own destiny, destroying by expectations what we crave most - recognition, love and the feeling of freedom.
What about less me and more WE.
Bisous et à bientôt!
Natalie
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